For those eagerly awaiting the aforementioned sleep study results, thank you for your interest. I had the follow-up consultation and the results are:
It was inconclusive!
I can’t believe I spent all night for that!
My sleep was disturbed enough (ha; like we didn’t know that. I told you how they kept disturbing me) to qualify me for insurance benefits if I want to pursue getting a nighttime breathing machine.
Have you seen those? A big hose coming out of your face and wind whistling through the bedroom, straps around your head worse than any teenage braces headgear—do I want to pursue that? I think not. The truth is, DH has one, and when he was first wearing it I awoke in the dark one night and looked over at him and thought an elephant was in the bed with me. Seriously. It looks like a trunk. Can you imagine two of us in bed with hoses attached, shooting cold air at each other and getting our ‘trunks’ entangled as we twist and turn during the night? Appalling.
But there are natural alternatives:
I could give up my morning tea.
I could give up my afternoon Diet Pepsi’s.
I could give up watching TV in the evening before bed, particularly anything exciting.
I could give up reading in bed. Even when it makes me relaxed enough to sleep.
Quit reading anything like mysteries or anything that intrigues or excites me.
I could give up falling asleep on the sofa in the evenings before I go upstairs to bed.
I could make sure I get to bed before 10 o’clock at night. And don’t get up until 7 AM.
I could quit getting up to go to the bathroom at night. And then not have trouble going back to sleep. And then reading another chapter of my book. Or, so as not to disturb DH by turning on the light, quit going downstairs to watch infomercials when I can’t go back to sleep because of going to the bathroom.
I could quit drinking after 4 PM so as to avoid the above scenarios.
I could quit accidentally taking catnaps in the afternoon when I sit down.
I could take a warm bath or shower before bed (Are you kidding? When CSI and Castle and Bones are on?)
I could lose weight.
I could exercise more everyday so I exhaust myself naturally.
I could sleep in a separate bedroom so DH’s breathing machine doesn’t send cold blasts of oxygen on me through the return air vent.
Dear readers and anyone who cares: Are they crazy? I may have trouble feeling rested throughout my day-times, but I would be giving up life as we know it to follow this sleep regime.
It’s really a daytime regime. I like my tea. Don’t mess with my tea.
Happy weekend, everyone! In Portland, signs of Spring are in the air. Mild temperatures, shoots of daffodils or tulips are coming up. Blue skies, even. What’s not to love?